To Save Mankind From A Talking Comet

Mother Nature Weeps

2009-09-06T05:59:00.005+02:00

Could there possibly be a more unoriginal title for this? I suck at coming up with good titles.

Everyone's probably already seen this pic of a melting iceberg. The marine photographer who took this said he thinks it represents Mother Nature weeping over global warming.

I shudder imagining how faster global warming would've hit us if not for the many environment-conscious people. I've tried doing all I can for this cause ever since I was maybe 11 or 12. They taught as at school to minimize plastic and paper usage and recycle, and I studiously discourage cashiers from wrapping my stuff in additional paper or giving me unnecessary plastic bags. If there weren't so many of us trying out there... I try not to think about this too much. It positively freaks me out.

Seeking Prolonged Youth: A New Solution

2009-08-25T04:15:00.011+02:00

I'm going to fill my tub with ice-cold water and immerse myself, except for my nose and mouth, in it.

Forget the myriad anti-wrinkle creams and the famous leech therapy I've been unsuccessfully searching for in Egypt. Cold is the magic word. It makes sense: If you want to prolong something's ripeness, you put it in the fridge. If you want to prolong its ripeness even more, you put it in the freezer. Years ago I heard that women who grow up in hot environments age faster than their counterparts in cold environments. So instead of slathering my face with Palmer's cocoa butter six times a day (which is how often my skin feels unbelievably dry during the day), I'm going to ask DH or a best friend to hold my hand while I immerse myself in water as cold as I can take. I need my hand held not for encouragement but for monitoring. Very rarely cardiac problems occur if the water is that cold. So my monitor is supposed to help me haul myself out as soon as I tug on their hand. If I can. (Here is where all my characteristic crazy panicking kicks in). What if my heart stops upon immersion? Would that be suicide, given that I know this can sometimes be a health risk? But I hate cold water -- I've only been trying to give up showering with steamy water very recently and not too successfully. What if I stop breathing? Will that hurt? What if I die? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

Of course, given that Karim Diab the Russian-Syrian guy who got into the Guinness Book of Records did so by spending one hour in ice-cold water, not even immersed in it with only his nose and mouth above water like I imagine I might be able to, I'm not going to be throwing out my cocoa butter just yet.

Ramadan Musings

2009-08-21T20:36:00.006+02:00

I'm stumped. Don't get me wrong. Spiritually the month is a goldmine. And a wonderful time to push my tolerance to the limits. It's just that people's attitudes and behavior, annoyingly, sink lower than ever during the month. Which makes them even harder to tolerate than usual. Which is why it's a good chance to practice my already shaky tolerance levels.

Take the myriad iftar invitations you must attend. I used to wiggle out of them easily before I got married, but now I'm not making social decisions alone. It's a good thing DH is not all that big on the exhausting Ramadan entertaining norms revered by most in Egypt.

Of course, to get to your host's place you first have to brace yourself and jump into the crazy iftar rush. I cannot for the life of me get the point of the hurry people are in to get wherever they're invited for iftar. So the Maghrib prayer time is upon you and you're still in the car -- so what? It makes more sense to wait: The streets are practically deserted once the prayer time comes (another mystery: where do all those people go?) and you can make it faster than you ever thought possible.

Then there's the insane television schedule. For someone to choose to spend hours after hours in Ramadan (or any other time for that matter) on the couch watching soaps is none of my business -- I have a few but sacred YouTube soaps that I will never miss myself -- but what puzzles me is the satisfaction in their voice when they talk about what they like most about Ramadan and go on and on about how spiritually enriching the month is, how peace permeates the atmosphere and fills their heart... Go figure. Again, it's none of my business, simply an amused outsider's wonderings. After all, Islam stresses never judging someone's spiritual standing based on what you see them do; short religious practice doesn't necessarily mean they're lower on the scale than someone who spends more time. Quality is key, and a truly pure heart.

Anyway, the insane social norms begin tomorrow. I hope none of my Egyptian friends feel offended. I'm not criticizing and I am Egyptian as well. I just fiercely cherish my time alone and these are simply musings while I savor the last quiet moments I'll get by myself for a whole month.

Best Ramadan wishes to all.

Stainless steel is my new best friend

2009-08-17T08:31:00.003+03:00

I just read this on Yahoo and tried it a couple of hours later. It's magic! Rubbing your hands under cold water with anything made of stainless steel in lieu of a soap bar really does remove all traces of onion smell! I used a plain old tablespoon. So unbelievably simple, clean... effortless!

Best Summer Diet - Ant Diet

2009-07-15T19:48:00.006+03:00

I've discovered the most effective diet of all. I'm not even thinking longingly of any type of food, healthy or junk. My toddler is thirsty and I'm trying to make her forget cold water and make do with lukewarm water because I cannot bring myself to enter the kitchen. See there's a huge ant the size of a full-grown cockroach on my kitchen sink. It has a big ugly head and scary huge wings.

Clearly I should do the dishes more often than every weekend.

I hate summer. It brings all these bugs out en masse and they seem to have evolved into a much bolder species than I remember. I don't think the word "insect" can convey insignificance and vulnerability anymore. Repulsiveness, certainly, but boldness as well. Which means these latest generations are rapidly evolving into monsters. Think about it. They're getting impossibly bigger than what I used to see a few years ago, so a few years from now I expect cockroaches to be as big as a one-year-old human being maybe. *shudders*

While typing this entry my daughter insisted I get her cold water so I had to. I am mortified to say this, but I was absolutely terrified. I mean, heart pounding, knees shaking terrified. I don't think I'd be more watchful and ready to flee if a hitman was crouching in a glass instead of that ant. Well that's an exaggeration, but you know...

So I guess my pants will be a little loose soon. I'm home alone most of the day, and in this heat I can only imagine how often I'm going to lock the kitchen door and sit terrified waiting for DH to come home quickly. Best diet ever.

No Sacré Cœur for Mona

2009-07-06T15:12:00.006+03:00

Is it too melodramatic to say I'm devastated?

No Sacré Cœur for my toddler. For the last two years all I've done is research schools until I was completely satisfied that the best possible education system in Egypt -- according to my standards -- is the Sacré Cœur schools. I was overjoyed to discover one very close to my place. My only concern was that they don't accept kids as young as three, but I pushed that to the back of my mind.

So I call them with a trembling heart, and I learn that I missed the registration deadline! Other schools are only just beginning registration and the Sacré Cœur is done! They actually started June 1 and were done before the beginning of July.

Now what? I wanted a French-medium school for Mona because over the years I noticed that every single French-medium graduate I've met is more fluent in English than their English-medium counterpart is in French, and to me bilingualism is the bare minimum to carry you through life; multilingualism is my long-term goal for Mona. I consider myself handicapped for being fluent in English only.

But I didn't want any French-medium school. I wanted a school closest to my first school back in the UAE, a school that was back then in a league of its own, just like the Sacré Cœur is in a league of its own now. I went to Rosary School, and my school, along with the devoted efforts my parents put in me, shaped every good side there ever was to me.

There was discipline, quite strict discipline actually: Nuns ran the school. Yet we weren't a herd where teachers would yell or threaten us with physical punishment. We were individuals, each and every one of us, even at age 6 or 7, and they maintained our sense of self-respect. Most of the time punishment was in fact non-physical; their aim was to shame you if you misbehaved, and because of your sense of self punishment of that sort really hurt and -- unless it was a particularly rebellious or antisocial student -- did the trick.

There was creativity, and we were strongly encouraged to find out who we were and explore our personalities. There was emphasis on the importance of a solid future career hand in hand with sound ethics and firm family values. There were a great many things I can never do justice in an entry I'm typing while upset and extremely sleep-deprived, unfortunately.

This is what I want for my daughter, and after asking and researching for two years I reached the conclusion only the Sacré Cœur can provide my daughter with this. Now what?

Funny Quote

2009-07-03T01:46:00.003+03:00

"Remember the waterfront shack with the sign FRESH FISH SOLD HERE. Of course it's fresh, we're on the ocean. Of course it's for sale, we're not giving it away. Of course it's here, otherwise the sign would be someplace else. The final sign: FISH." Peggy Noonan

One of my all-time favorite editing quotes. Possible my all-time favorite.

Although personally I'd keep the sign as it originally was. I think the redundancy is...justified, if you will, and beneficial to the unsure and the hesitant who will assume what they've understood from the sign is wrong. There are those who need instructions repeated, elaborated on, and language should cater to them as well, as long as it doesn't stoop to sloppy redundancy.

RIP Michael Jackson

2009-07-02T03:09:00.002+03:00

I was among the millions that grew up die-hard Michael Jackson fans. I still am a huge fan of his. I enjoyed and loved his music. His music was more or less a regular soundtrack to a big part of my life. I remember staring at Debbie Rowe's pic enviously after they got married and thinking, I had a chance; I'm prettier.

Why is it that in most cases the more extraordinarily gifted the person, the more turmoil in his life? Maybe talented people, especially artists, can't live without turmoil. Maybe turmoil is the catalyst for their brilliant creations. Maybe talent burns them whereas regular folk like myself are safe.

I'm not surprised he passed away. We're human, so we die. But I am very, very sad. I was waiting patiently for his comeback... I hope the media miraculously has some mercy on his children instead of pouncing on them like I expect it will.

Rest in peace, Michael Jackson.

Milestone for Me!

2009-06-07T22:31:00.002+03:00

I just finished cleaning my kitchen floor, all by myself, for the first time ever in my life, and I am ridiculously proud of myself. I didn't even visit Flylady.com! I improvised. I actually used a regular towel. I have no idea where the rags are: The cleaning woman keeps them out of sight and only comes every other week (she's mysteriously sick every other week but I like to always give people the benefit of the doubt).

Yay for me! Such a ridiculously insignificant milestone for most people -- probably even shameful that it's a milestone for me at 29, but I am so proud of me!

Hilarious Music Video Parody

2009-06-02T07:22:00.004+03:00

This video cracked me up. I don't think I've laughed this hard since a long time ago. I literally almost fell off my chair laughing.If the crazy shots in music videos ever stumped you you are going to love this.

I found the link to this in one of Larry Sullivan's tweets. Whenever I check out Larry Sullivan's tweets I always walk away with something interesting and often educational. And he will actually talk to his fans! Best of luck to the sunniest, most lovable actor ever for taking the time to reply to my fan tweet and for making my day twice!

He's Accomplished, Wise, And He Oozes Sex Appeal

2009-05-29T05:50:00.009+03:00

I happened to be in the living room during a show where Adel Imam appeared, and I invite you to share, and learn, with me.

He was invited back to the Faculty of Agriculture after all those years since he graduated there, and he was "surprised" to find that it was flooded with hijabis interspersed with a few non-hijabis who he at once "realized" were Christians, a situation which he stated was, because of the Mulsim identity the many hijabis obviously displayed, "certainly not right".

Enlightening. Let's break this down, shall we?

First, the non-hijabis, his victims of implied discrimination, were decidedly Christian. I'd like to know why Adel Imam hasn't corrected the countless references in various media to his wife, a non-hijabi herself, as a Muslim. Oh, she is in fact a Muslim? Then Adel Imam obviously possesses supernatural abilities to tell your religion just by the presence or absence of a hijab. So we are blessed with not only an acting genius (nah, naturally I don't mean the movies that obviously target the straight men and those of us who swing both ways; ditch those; I assure you all, his filmography screams "genius"; go check it; where there is a will there is a way guys!) but also a magical phenomenon, all in a package his movies very subtly remind us is very "hot". Lucky us.

Second, since we're on the issue of discrimination: It was news to me that exhibiting a symbol of your faith upon your person is discriminatory and "certainly not right". It certainly never bothers me when my non-Muslim friends proudly wear a gold cross or Buddhist pendant. But hey, who am I to talk? I'm just an ignorant hijabi. What about the rest of the Muslims I know who socialize, nah, are best friends with non-Muslims, and all parties wear symbols of their respective faiths? Sheesh, here I go again. Who are they to talk? They are after all miserable hijabis like myself. Except they're not. Nor are many people in industrialized countries, where the cosmopolitan heartthrob who never ages would find himself messing with the sacred freedom of expression if he so much as hinted at the inappropriateness of displaying your faith.

Newsflash to our never-aging connoisseur of the arts and everything else under the sun: Your faithful publicists remind us nonstop, just in case we dare forget, of your perpetual youth. About time they added your unfailing wisdom. Just in case you started dropping similar jewels more often. Trust me.

Firsts

2009-04-24T10:46:00.002+03:00

Here's a very interesting list from my friend Cynthia. A sweet walk down memory lane!

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
Never went to a prom

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
Nope

3. What was your 1st alcoholic drink?
Ginger Ale (And by mistake! I was so overjoyed to find a Canada Dry in Egypt that I just grabbed it off the shelf and after checking out and tasting it I felt something was off -- it wasn't the same Canada Dry I drank for years growing up in the UAE. I look at the can more closely and it blares "Ginger Ale"!)

4. What was your FIRST job?
Telemarketer

5. What was your FIRST car?
Fiat Nasr 127

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
Nobody's texted me yet!

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
Landon Carter and Jamie Sullivan from A Walk To Remember

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
Mrs Romana

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
UAE

10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk to them?
Dahlia. Unfortunately we lost touch

11. Where was your FIRST sleep over?
Dareen's

12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
My daughter

13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
Mine! I'd studiously avoided all weddings and then mine happened. Just an aqd qiran though albeit in a white gown

14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
Started work

15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
Never been to a concert

16. FIRST tattoo?
Only a temporary one when I was 17. On the inside of my left thigh

17. First piercing?
Regular ear piercing when I was maybe 9 months

18. First foreign country you've been to?
UAE

19. FIRST movie you remember seeing?
Bambi

20. When was your FIRST detention?
Grade 7. I was a geek, teacher's pet, a rebel inside, only started rebelling outside in Grade 7. The boys were much too hot for me not to rebel. :) I think I remained a geek though.

21. What was the first state you lived in?
Never been in a US state

22. Who was your FIRST roommate?
Never left home to study

23. If you had one wish. What would it be?
For more wishes. Brilliant wish Cynthia

24. What is something you would learn if you had the chance?
Me too! Different languages. Tons of languages

25. Who do you think will be the next person to post this?
Dunno

Great Google Idea

2009-03-24T17:46:00.004+02:00

Isn't this neat?

Google asked 150 orphans to create designs for the Google Egypt logo. I haven't had a chance to check out all the designs yet, but the few I did look at really impressed me. To think such sunny imagination came from children society considers criminals or losers in the making! I think they are definitely worth the time spent browsing the creations.

Please, everybody, squeeze a few minutes into your crammed schedule and go check out the doodles and vote for the best, even if it means missing Oprah or the Grey's Anatomy recap. These children's efforts definitely are worth your time. It's the least we privileged ones can do for these children.

My Friend Cynthia's Bucket List

2009-02-17T00:26:00.006+02:00

A very interesting bucket list! My friend Cynthia tagged me, among others, in this one and asked us to check the stuff we'd done. Some of the stuff I'm proud I've did, some not. Some stuff I'm glad I haven't done and will probably never do for anything! Here's the list...

Things you have done during your lifetime:
( ) Gone on a blind date
(X) Skipped school
( ) Watched someone die
() Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
( ) Been to Florida
( ) Been to Hawaii
(X) Been on a plane
( ) Been on a helicopter
(X) Been lost
( ) Gone to Washington, DC
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Played cops and robbers
(X) Recently colored with crayons
( ) Sang Karaoke
(X) Paid for a meal with coins only
( ) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't.
( ) Made prank phone calls
( ) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose & elsewhere
( ) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) Danced in the rain-naked
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) Watched the sunrise with someone
(X) Blown bubbles
(X) Gone ice-skating
(X) Gone to the movies
( ) Been deep sea fishing
( ) Driven across the United States
( ) Been in a hot air balloon
( ) Been sky diving
( ) Gone snowmobiling
(X) Lived in more than one country
(X) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
(X) Seen a falling star and made a wish
( ) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
( ) Seen the Statue of Liberty
( ) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
(X) Been on a cruise
(X) Traveled by train
(X) Traveled by motorcycle
(X) Been horse back riding
( ) Ridden on a San Francisco CABLE CAR
( ) Been to Disneyland/ Disney World
(X) Truly believe in the power of prayer
( ) Been in a rain forest
( ) Seen whales in the ocean
( ) Been to Niagara Falls
( ) Ridden on an elephant
( ) Ridden on a Camel
( ) Swam with dolphins
( ) Been to the Olympics
( ) Walked on the Great Wall of China
( ) Saw and heard a glacier calf
( ) Been spinnaker flying
( ) Been water-skiing
( ) Been snow-skiing
( ) Been to Westminster Abbey
( ) Been to the Louvre
(X) Swam in the Mediterranean
(X) Been to the Great Pyramid in Egypt
( ) Been to a Major League Baseball game
( ) Been to a National Football League game

Crawly Creepy Milestone

2009-02-13T04:03:00.007+02:00

I killed a cockroach!

Those who don't know me well will fail to fully appreciate the significance of this. This is huge! This is on a par with, say... er... someone with a serious phobia conquering their phobia... on their own!

I'm not the greatest housewife. For instance, the dishes... My system is very much like Tom from Desperate Housewives: I do the dishes every few days. Lately it's been exceptionally warm and I guess that's why I found the unwelcome visitor checking out my kitchen.

The really important change is my reaction. I was totally disgusted, of course, and about to throw up. All typical. The completely new part was that throughout the big "ewwww" I couldn't help, I was actually reaching out to the closest weapon I could find: a reliable flip flop lying in front of the kitchen door; again, I'm not the greatest housewife on earth. I grabbed it and killed the revolting albeit tiny creature. I feel like throwing up just at remembering the incident, but still! It's a huge step into efficient-mommy land for me.

Pity the cockroach showed up around 1 am. I wanted to call, sms, and email everyone I know to share the big moment but there was no one I could contact. Tomorrow I'm going to celebrate.

Grandma Moses

2008-12-26T03:33:00.005+02:00

How amazing is it to take up painting when you're seventy? Even more inspiring to me is that Grandma Moses did that because she had to give up embroidery due to arthritis. I mean how amazing is it that instead of sitting around wallowing in self-pity and treating the disease as an excuse to just sit and wait for death and reminisce about the glorious past, she simply looked for something else to enjoy and went after it. I'd like to think I'll still be able to be passionate, or at least just interested, about something when I'm forty, let alone seventy... although forty doesn't seem that far anymore. I turn 30 in 2010. As in a year and two months from now! Wow.

Anyway, Grandma Moses is one of my favorite artists of all time. I love how her work is so rich in detail and full of people doing different things and taking different poses. I think the human face and form are way more enjoyable than say, a beautiful waterfall picture or something. I have a tiny calendar with 12 of her beautiful paintings. I probably will scan them sometime and upload them here. No copyright infringement intended by displaying the paintings below.

I paint from the top down. From the sky, then the mountains, then the hills, then the houses, then the cattle, and then the people. Grandma Moses

Brilliant Felicity Huffman Quote

2008-12-25T03:20:00.006+02:00

She is just breathtaking and so refreshingly smart. Not to mention talented from head to gorgeous toe. Isn't she amazing?

"In the new millennium, we're fighting against the icon of the perfect mother. I don't know about here, but in America you're not allowed to talk about how it's driving you crazy, or how you don't like it, or how, if you have to give a bath one more time, you're going to pull your hair out. Because then you're considered a bad mom. There's a very established conversation or litany, which is, 'Isn't motherhood the best?' To me, that question just isn't applicable. You can complain about your job, you can complain about your husband, you can complain about your friends, but God forbid you complain about your kids."

DiCaprio's Body of Lies: A Muslim Thanks!

2008-11-17T10:20:00.004+02:00

I can't get over it. I just can't get over it. How did a movie like this come into light? When the Arab terrorist quotes a Quranic verse claiming it urges true Muslims to kill "infidels" and the American CIA agent tells him he got the meaning of the verse all wrong, I was absolutely incredulous and...overjoyed!

I mean this is the number one problem with the image of Islam now. People everywhere think Muslims are actually encouraged to slaughter and kill and do all sorts of barbaric acts in the name of spreading the light. It's a fact that nothing is farther from the truth. It's also a fact that very few people know this fact. Many Muslims even mistakenly believe Islam promotes violence and slaughtering of "infidels" and similar falsehoods not related to Islam at all.

Of course the Middle East depicted in the movie is nowhere near the real Middle East. Crowe's character asks DiCaprio's sarcastically, smugly, about how it feels to be in civilization again, and jokes about ordering him something, I forget, a food item he presumes is nonexistent in the Middle East. This with Starbucks opening not just in the rich Dubai but in barely-getting-by Egypt. The best Middle East footage is, again, nowhere near the actual civilization in Jordan and Dubai. Especially Dubai. I personally know Europeans and Americans who were blown away upon arriving in Dubai, but the very short scene where the camera pans some high-rises hardly does the actual Dubai any justice. I know, having been raised in the UAE, and that was back in the eighties to mid-nineties, way before the breathtaking architecural developments.

Still, the movie does us a gigantic lot of justice in my opinion. The key problem we're facing especially in the West and after 9/11 is that we're a bloodthirsty, narrowminded, steadfastly ignorant fundamentalists who would rather blow themselves up to destroy the so-called infidels than practice tolerance and democracy, two true virtues of the real Islam. Having an American non-Muslim character say so is enough for me, at least for now, amidst all the slamming we're getting even in our own countries.

Inlaw Heart Surgery

2008-10-12T04:54:00.004+02:00

It is 4:55 now. I have taken to not sleeping late during the weekend because it makes staying up for work on Tuesday harder than it is. Today though there's another reason for me staying up.

My husband just went to bed to wake up at 6 so he can pick up his mom and sis and arrive at 7:30 for his aunt's open heart surgery, the same surgery at the same hospital where his dad's health started its long downward spiral that would end with his passing away in July 2005, two weeks after our engagement.

I didn't think it would be a good idea for him and his mom and sis to be there throughout his aunt's entire surgery. I mean his mom and sis -- when they visit my folks -- cannot face sitting in the same place they sat on their first visit to my folks' place for a formal proposal, back when his dad was of course still with them. To this day they can't look at the room; they will sit anywhere else, no matter how inconvenient, but not that room. My husband, after 3 years, still has a hard time not welling up when songs about fathers come on the radio. His dad was a good man, good to him and his sister and his mom. I remember when I was telling my grandma how worried I was that they weren't going to get over it, especially his mom, my grandma said a woman only has a hard time after her husband's death if he was exceptionally kind to her. I don't know about how true that statement is, but he certainly was very kind to his family and to many others. On their first visit to my folks' place he blew me away by commenting on the last thing anyone noticed if at all about my then-9-year-old brother, "He is overflowing with compassion." True. My little (not so little now) brother was and is a steady stream of kindness, teenage tantrums and all.

Something went wrong with my FIL's anesthesia and instead of the scheduled 4 hours his surgery went on for a little more than 10 whole hours. He was wheeled out to intensive care with an infection that would later require a correction surgery that would leave him in a coma for a week, and never the same man again for the following 6 or so years until his sudden death. It passed in a stupor for my MIL, SIL, and husband, but to this day they will go out of their way to avoid passing in front of that hospital, and pull all the stops trying to talk those scheduled to be admitted there out of it. The French Qasr Al Ainy has become the symbol of everything corrupt in their eyes, and not undeservingly: Last night my mom (a retired doctor) was schocked to hear about his aunt's choice of hospital, and tried explaining that it is infamous for its lousy aftercare. It's not my DH's aunt's choice, of course. Her surgeon only operates there.

I'm trying not to think of the other big concerns: his aunt's almost 80 if not past it; that coupled with her long list of ailments make it possible that she may not even make it. I'm asking everybody to keep us in their prayers. I hope tomorrow goes easily for everybody.

Out of Hatred for Intolerance

2008-09-02T02:33:00.003+02:00

I came across a poem I've kept since reading it many years ago, and I felt it was never more suitable than it is today.

THE COLD WITHIN

Six humans trapped in happenstance

In dark and bitter cold,

Each one possessed a stick of wood,

Or so the story's told.

Their dying fire in need of logs

The first woman held hers back,

For of the faces around the fire,

She noticed one was black.

The next man looking across the way

Saw not one of his church,

And couldn't bring himself to give

The fire his stick of birch.

The third one sat in tattered clothes

He gave his coat a hitch,

Why should his log be put to use,

To warm the idle rich?

The rich man just sat back and thought

Of the wealth he had in store,

And how to keep what he had earned,

From the lazy, shiftless poor.

The black man's face bespoke revenge

As the fire passed from sight,

For all he saw in his stick of wood

Was a chance to spite the white.

The last man of this forlorn group

Did naught except for gain,

Giving only to those who gave,

Was how he played the game.

The logs held tight in death's still hands

Was proof of human sin,

They didn't die from the cold without,

They died from the cold within.

How true!

Moved To My Own Place

2008-08-05T05:13:00.010+03:00

It is 5:13 in the morning and some weird creature is honking its car horn outside. I've totally passed the stage where I would sit and glare in the dark and call them "asshole" and other select names, but I'm also not going to consider them a normal human being. How can you possibly honk your horn at 5:13 am? What kind of upbringing produces such callousness? Don't give me any crap about barely getting by thereby being unable to afford the luxury of manners. Manners are manners. There are people who are dirt poor and have impeccable manners. It's not poverty. It's a weird blend that's only too common in this country: ignorance plus pigheaded refusal to change that almost sacred ignorance in any way. Proof? Go to the nearest person you know with a cold, and try to stop them from loading up on antibiotic without consulting their doctor. No matter how hard you explain that antibiotic only works if it's a bacterial infection not a viral infection, they will still gulp that tablet, only now they'll set out to prove you wrong as soon and as often as they can. It's not a matter of finding out new information provided the source is reliable, blah, blah, blah. It's personal, and you have deeply offended them by daring to suggest something different, and now it is their life mission to make you pay for that.

I have tried and tried and tried to explain to well-meaning (maybe, because the amused challenge in their voices makes me suspect otherwise) relatives that Pepsi is the textbook definition of unhealthy for my 21-month-old toddler because (a) it's horrible for bones and (b) it's addictive, meaning exponential accumulation of (a). Do they even ask where I got the information? Nah. They taunt me ridiculously, dangling the glass too close to my daughter, who is of course very eager to try anything new, and telling her slowly while she's listening intently, "I know how much you want a sip, sweetie, but your mama won't allow me to give you this even though I want to very, very much." All of them. Every single moron I've asked not to do this. And I must see the humor immediately of course, otherwise I might...offend them! Offend them!

Anyway, it's my second morning here in my own place. We have officially moved. It was completely unplanned; I was actually suffering from a horrible mysterious bout of excessive nausea and diarrhea (yikes) and a fever for eight whole days, but something went wrong in the building suddenly and there was no water, not even a few drops leaking out of the faucet. So DH and I threw some things in a bag and headed to our place, and we're still here and we decided to make it the move we were planning for so hard. I mean the place is covered in dust and I don't even know how to clean a table top, never mind cleaning the wooden floors and the bathroom (only one bathroom! *shudders* I thought I could give up anything if I had to but I guess I was wrong -- I need two bathrooms! Probably my diarrhea talking -- so much for not letting the world know I had standard bodily functions. It's not just me -- read Jenny Colgan's Talking to Addison, everybody; you'll believe me.) and the kitchen and the balconies and staving off unwanted visitors from bug world and keeping everything clean... Aaaaaaaaargh!

So, just a quick entry to announce my move, except I was really pissed off at the person honking their horn at the beginning.

At My MIL's

2008-07-06T05:54:00.004+03:00

Today is Sunday July 6. It has been exactly two months since Tamer was admitted to the hospital the night before his surgery. I think it just hit him that in two months he managed to undergo a major surgery, fight the emergency splenectomy and lung collapse that came with it, stay holed up at our new place for two or three weeks with nobody but his mom because his wife, daughter, and only sister were too contagious to stay there, haul us all to the North Coast for what was supposed to be a week of relaxed recuperation but turned out to be seven days of unpleasant twists interspersed with a few fun hours, haul us back on the night before his first day at work after surgery managing to catch a cold and run a fever on the same night, load up on painkillers and antibiotics so he can drag himself to and from work, take the day off on the third day of work to rush his mom to the hospital where we learned that she had to have a cholecystectomy ASAP, convince his mom to have it, secure the money, and... here we are, a week after his mom underwent surgery. She had it last Saturday, Tamer and I stayed at her place Sunday, and she came home Monday. Not the smoothest of rides. He has been looking weird lately and I cornered him about it today. He confessed that he'd been feeling very stressed although he didn't know why. I was like, seriously? You don't know why? It's been one hell of a nonstop rollercoaster ride and you don't know why? Now though we can look forward to something nice, maybe a little trip for a couple of days somewhere where we can take it easy, just the two and a half of us. Even though I miss my folks and brothers and sister awfully especially since I haven't seen them since more than a week now. My MIL still has to see her doctor on Tuesday and next Sunday, but I'm hoping we can go back to my folks' tonight and come back Tuesday, or maybe next Sunday which is also Tamer's birthday. Whew! I think I've never typed a longer paragraph.

I would be really content though to just have things go back to normal for a while. Did I already say that somewhere in my blog? Anyway, that seems so much more appealing than a vacation, at least for now. I don't know why but I feel the idea of a vacation will just be a continuation of this rollercoaster ride we've been on for two months. I'd like us to sort of recharge for a while so that vacationing doesn't get too exhausting to be fun.

Anyways, now aside from trying to take care of the two post-op cases we have we're also hoping we don't actually end up in the hospital again. It's my SIL this time. She has been having the most horrible colonic pain lately. She literally bends over when it hits her and gets all nauseated and headache-y. A few days ago the family doctor stopped by. Contrary to what he usually says (just tension; making a big fuss out of nothing; etc) he was actually alarmed by how high her blood pressure was (she's only 27) and diagnosed her with colitis. It's too soon to tell whether the medication's working; so far it hasn't looked promising but we're still waiting.

Guess my blog's name oughta be Nora's Anatomy, huh? Hopefully this will be the end of boring illness-related news and I will have more fun stuff instead. Have a great day!

Funny Video To Kick Off The Night

2008-06-25T23:37:00.004+03:00

Frasier never fails to brighten up my day. I love the refreshing sophistication and classical references and the hilarious pompous words Frasier and Niles insist on using. I love it so much I don't think I have a favorite episode or character. They're all equally excellent.

Here's a quote that cracks me up without fail every single time I watch Niles saying it, no matter how many times I've seen it before. Niles is telling Frasier about a saucy movie he and Maris watched.

Have you seen that movie? Maris and I rented the video - I don't mind telling you we pushed our beds together that night! And that was no mean feat - her room, as you know, is across the hall!

Even more hilarious than what he says is the matter-of-fact way he says it. Frasier rules!

I also really enjoy watching the scene I put here (no infringement or copyright violation intended). I think Niles is a brilliant actor. He has to be to pull off such a silent scene so well, although the part where he speaks in the beginning is also very funny. Enjoy.

My MIL's Surgery

2008-06-23T14:07:00.001+03:00

So my MIL's cholecystectomy is scheduled for next Saturday. I can't possibly take any more days off from work after the 2 weeks I took off in such a short space of time, so I can only pray for my work to be uploaded earlier than usual on Saturday. Usually it's uploaded later than any other day of the week because MBC is off Saturdays so the uploader can't bring themselves to leave home one minute earlier than they have to. I called my company and asked the vice manager to try and have them upload it as early as possible; I was hoping she'd ask why and then I'd tell her about my MIL's surgery, thus making her give me that one day off or make the uploader put the episode early. Nah. She didn't even ask why; she only asked "how early?" in a weary voice that screamed, "I'm-sick-of-your-endless-excuses-and-emergencies."

Which, when I think of it, is really weird. How come my life is one series of unlikely situations that do nothing but eat away at my credibility? I mean back at my fulltime job I got really sick (seriously sick -- bed-ridden and everything) three or four weeks before my engagement and remained sick one week afterwards. I heard many of my coworkers remark sarcastically that it must be nice to take a five-week sick leave and come back with a ring on my right finger. Some well-meaning coworkers even shrieked the day I came back, "Hey! Why in the world would anyone need five weeks off to get engaged?"

Just two weeks later my FIL passed on in Uganda and I took several days off to ferry my then-fiance to the endless government agency bureaus he had to visit to finish the death certificate and related stuff, the procedures made 10 times more complicated because of the death happening outside the country.

Then less than two months after that my folks had to go away for a year and needed to marry me off for faith-related and social considerations. Indeed I got married within three days' notice and went on a one-week honeymoon where my husband and I ran a raging fever and became friends with the hotel's reception desk people who called every day to check if we needed more soup or tea.

Then a hectic month followed the honeymoon. All of a sudden I was schlepping clothes and toothbrush back and forth from my mom's to my MIL's in Ramadan, driving all the way from my MIL's, Giza, to my work, Nasr City, two neighborhoods very far from each other and connected by streets with the worst traffic I'd seen back then.

None of this of course is reason for my performance level to go down but go down it did -- it plummeted, so to speak, and I had no choice in the end but to ask for a hiatus. They were really generous. They gave me two months off (no pay of course, but the security of returning whenever you're up for it was more than any pay, I think). You'd think all my problems were solved: I thought so too until I discovered I was pregnant one week after I returned. I didn't dare and didn't want to ask for any days off on account of the morning sickness, blah, blah, but I didn't always succeed in braving it and skipped work several times. My husband's only living uncle passed on during that time and we traveled to Alexandria for the funeral and stayed one day, which was quite exhausting for me and everybody really. The day after we returned I got a firm albeit warm call from HR requesting I stop by ASAP to sign my resignation.

They were really nice and kept assuring me I'd be most welcome once I'd had the baby and figured out my life, you know, but I knew then it was the end of that era.

Anyway, keep my MIL in your prayers guys and wish me luck for next week. It will be especially trying. I'm probably going to miss the surgery which is not the best of starts to get off to with your inlaws. This is it for now.

My MIL's Health Scare

2008-06-18T13:31:00.000+03:00

Guys! When I asked you to keep my family and me in your prayers I meant like pronto, you know? Just kidding. Not kidding as such, but wasn't sure how to start the entry in a remotely interesting way as opposed to the latest-catastrophe-newsflash style I've been forced to adopt lately.

So anyway, right now my DH's is driving to his mom's place after taking the rest of the day off from work (can't imagine the look on his boss's face when he delivered the news -- after five weeks off then two days at work he's taking off -- priceless) because my MIL had a seizure. He's gonna take her to a hospital near her place and in all likelihood she's having her cholecystectomy today. Right out of the blue. Gotta be honest though. It's not like the doctor didn't warn us last week. This race is one big bunch of procrastinators.

Anyway, gotta run now. More later. Keep us in your prayers. Seriously.